Journal entry – Tuesday 29 November 2022

Talking with Debbi yesterday was a breath of oxygen rich air. What a Fearless Creator! Her own magazine, her first weekend retreat abroad at a luxury villa, a student in a powerful course that meets 4x/week, member of two leadership FB groups, and part of two masterminds, while still spearheading her Academy and coaching 1:1 clients!

Such an exemplar of getting at it.

I charged myself up from our conversation. And at first it was very much an “oh wow, I am not achieving enough and pushing myself enough” motivated thinking. Paired with a “I need to be integrating with more ‘high-profile’ people” urge. But once it began to turn from excitement to anxiety, I used the indicator to reign in and listen to my thoughts, and heard fomo and competitive insecurity had crept in.

The concentrated force she is using is what underlyingly I want to take from the conversation. And in doing so, notice blaringly that what emerges is my continued resistance to creating deep quiet space daily for me to write. That is where I want to purposefully strike with this surge of energy.

A “high-profile” person is the same as a “low-profile” person – just a opinion-made label separates. And I love the people I currently engage with. My dreams have no specifics about big-business, they involve social gatherings in a village / tight-knit community life and family. And I am rocking running, which will take me wonderful places and branch into whatever awaits.

More powerfully, I am remembering my hope after the autumn NDT contract ended to distance from things and disappear frequently; yet have continued to become more “on top of things” and create less purposeful solitude. Wake Up has happened; time to Act.

Want to join course or study. Want to be on airplane/off mode more. Want to block my schedule more. Get creative Jason!

I also acknowledge that the message I have been learning how to usefully pour into others (from yesterday’s journal) is just as much the message I am trying to send myself. All the letters I write and words I say and mementos I make are as directed at me as the recipient. Toss the fears+doubts+worries aside Jason – go play! There is nothing to fear, and only love will survive. Nothing I choose to do will be the “wrong” thing (nor the “right” thing), so leave it behind and welcome Right Now to create and play with!

We love you 🙂